My Puzzle Heart
by Tywen
Summary: It's been nearly five years since the almost fight with the Volturi and everyone in the pack has imprinted, except Leah. She outcasts herself until a stranger comes to town and turns her life upside down. Strong lang from the start.


**Hello again, dear followers. As you may have or not have noticed I've deleted my Leah imprinting stories, after re-reading them I just couldn't carry them on after such a long time away. So, I'm starting again from scratch.  
>I've got a better head on myself and I'm feeling like I can finally get this story out for you all. So fingers crossed and we'll see how it goes. :)<br>**

**Strong language from the start and a very angry, hormonal and scared Leah. You've been warned!**

**Enjoy. :)**

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><p>Whoever thought of 'misery loves company' hadn't met me. The last thing I want to do is hang around with people, let alone people who are miserable, because usually they're miserable because of someone who they love.<p>

'Such a person didn't ring me when they said the would.' 'My boyfriend's ditched me for his mates.' 'My girlfriend's bitching at me again.' Oh boo _fucking _hoo. At least when you go to sleep at night you know you've got someone to share your life with.

I don't. I just have myself and my angry inner wolf. _Drowning in your self pity again Lee-Lee? _It snickered at me.

I've been running for the past week across country. I give in to the beast so I can lose my humanity and Seth hates it, he's always try to give me prep talks and trying to get me involved with the pack again. But I couldn't.

More and more kids phased and everyone in the pack has imprinted now, it sickens me. Sam, Jared, Paul, Colin, Brady and some others who names I never remembered they all stopped phasing to be with their imprints. Hell, Sam, Jared and Paul are all married now.

Sam and Emily even have children; Grace aged two and Joshua who is six months. I'm even Grace's Godmother, I told them I'd be a bad choice for her but they were adamant.

Paul and Rachel have Amber, nine months, and Rachel wants another child but after Rachel's ordeal going through labour with Amber, Paul's not overly keen on trying. So there's trouble in the Lahote house.

But the rest of the pack: Jake, Seth, Quil, Embry and others are still phasing either because they're imprintees are too young or immortal. In the case of Embry his imprintee is Amelia Brady's little sister who also happens to be the second ever female wolf in the pack.

So naturally, Embry had to be the first person to see her after she phased and _BAM _imprinted. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound.

This just proved that something was wrong with me, and from then on I withdrew myself from the pack, from the vamps, from my family and from Nessie.

My heart clenches when I think of her, the little sister I wanted when mom was pregnant with Seth. Thinking of Nessie proves that I still have a heart to give and that just makes everything so much worse.

Could it be that I'm unlovable because I'm so angry, self hating, cynical and hormonal. _Not to mention ugly, personality-less and a huge stinking wolf! _The wolf snickered again. _No one wants you._

The feeling of wanting to rip something apart rushes through me and I throw myself at a tree again and again, which makes a horrid cracking noise each time. Eventually it snaps and falls making a god awful racket, leaving my over sensitive ears ringing. I roll out my shoulders as the pain subsides.

Hmm, maybe I should add has suicidal tendencies to that list of reasons why I'm unlovable. _Yes, yes and slightly masochistic too. _

My anger bubbles in my veins as I think back a week to when my mom shared some news.

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><p>Mom and Charlie are sat across the table from myself and Bella, Seth is leaning on the back of my chair. Charlie's once yellow kitchen, now blue and green thanks to my mom, seems to full all of a sudden.<p>

"We have some news for you kids." Charlie started, looking even more sheepish than since we walked in the front door and now looked slightly green.

Then came the awkward silence. We waited.

I looked to my mom when I saw her take a deep breath. "We're engaged to be married." A buzzing filled my head, my jaw flopped open but Seth and Bella instantly smiled and congratulated them. Mom turns to me. "I want you Lee to be my maid of honor." Everyone looks at me, waiting.

"No."

"Oh." Mom's heartbroken reply doesn't effect me, there's still a buzzing in my head and an ache in my heart.

"You're gonna be that selfish Leah, really? Why can't you just be happy that mom's in love?" Seth pulls his arms from around my mother's shoulders.

"That's why I can't be her maid of honor."

Seth scoffed. "Because she's in love?" He glares into my face. "What the _fuck_? Is this that stupid thing you have against love?"

I glared back, with a touch more venom. "I don't have a thing against love, I'd appreciate it if it decided to visit my life but it decides to just screw me over. Everyone in this house is in love, everyone in this forsaken town is in love. Except me. So why should I pretend to be happy when clearly I'm not."

"Because she loves you."

Tearing my gaze from my brother and I looked at my soon to be step father. "We all do, so you should be happy about that. You're not unloved, you're far from it. Don't do this for yourself, do it for your mom who loves and will love you unconditionally forever." My stomach churned and I felt sick.

"I can't." With a quick glance at my mom, tears swimming in her eyes, I got up and walked out.

"I hope the guilt leaves another hole in your barren heart." Seth spits after me and Mom scolds him.

"Give her time love." Charlie comforted mom. "Some luck will come her way."

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><p>Such the optimistic is Charlie. He is great with mom and I am happy that she's able to move on from the death of my Dad, but I'm also jealous.<p>

I'm jealous that she's been in love twice and has the ability to move on.

I haven't spoken to anyone in a week and the guilt is burning a hole in my chest, trying to lose myself to the beast is becoming harder when I feel so human.

_Maybe it's time to go home? _A voice whispered into my mind.

Home? I've not called the Res home in a long time. 'Home is where the heart is', right? So where is my heart? My heart's no where, it's lost.

I slump to the ground. Maybe I'm done, should I let the darkness win? My soul is in pieces should I just give in?

_Give in! Give in! _The bestial wolf chanted.

_Get up! Get up!_A wise voice started as a whisper but as I listened more it became louder. Who are you?

_Us wolves are wise as well as_ _bestial, I'm just other side of the coin that you've be subconsciously ignoring. _I cringed. _To answer your question, your heart and home is where it's always been. With the people you love, just you've forgotten what that means._

So what does it mean?_ Now, that's for you too figure out. That way it's so much sweeter when you realize. _

No fair. _That's life, I'm afraid. As the saying goes, 'Life is a roller coaster, you've just got to ride it.'_

I think I get you, but what should I do first? _Follow your heart and it'll tell you. It's still there Leah, all you got to do is just use it._

Just use it. I surprised myself at how easy it was. The answer became clear and I headed back in the direction my heart was leading me.

A tiny piece had fixed itself back into place and I knew I could start the journey back home to where my heart belonged.


End file.
